I need to go outside and rake the leaves and transplant some hostas and day lilies, but little Rosemary is taking her precious time falling asleep. I don't want to go out until she's fallen asleep because the monitor doesn't always work outside, and besides, I don't want to get all dirty and then have to come in.

We went for a nice walk this morning: watched the St. Paul parks and rec people mowing the lawn with their giant riding lawn mowers, stopped at the mail box to mail an earnest check to the realtor in Brainerd, looked for pumpkins and scarecrows, stopped at the park, and ran the bases in the baseball field.

The days are actually going by really fast! Joel will come home tomorrow - early evening, so that is pretty exciting! I'll be interested to see if Rosemary receives him well or if she carries a little grudge. She has been doing pretty good so far. We talk to him a lot on the cell phone. She asks where he is quite a bit, but she doesn't really cry or act sad. My first day home with her, she tested me ... a lot. But a day full of time-outs and the rest of our days have been pretty good.

Well, it sounds like the little one is asleep - I better get to work.

I have a really, really, really good husband. Have I ever mentioned that before? If I have, I dont’ t think I’ve mentioned it enough. We’ve been kind of getting on each other’s nerves lately and I don’t think it’s anything but cabin fever and a general gloomy feeling that seems to be looming over the whole of Minnesota right now. Really, it seems like all my coworkers are at each other’s throats these days and I can hardly walk 5 steps without hearing someone complain about the weather. Myself included. And when I don’t take the time to lift myself up and lift others up, I fall into a huge slump.

So I’m sorry for all my complaints lately. And moreso I’m sorry for not bragging more about my husband. Because you should all know that he is a pretty amazing guy. He works so hard and has the most phenomenal ethic. I was just thinking yesterday that he is totally a better person than me and I really need to step up my game. He is more honest, more loyal, more trustworthy than almost anyone I know - and I tend to take that for granted.

Actually, truth be told, I take him for granted too much. I wouldn’t want anyone but him. The good and the bad, he is the one for me. Like most women, I have moments when I worry something bad has happened and it almost paralyzes me. He makes me a better person and I wouldn’t want to go at it without him.

I know I don’t show this well enough. I have never been good at showing people how much I appreciate them. It’s really a familial thing - that Irish Catholic put-up-walls and don’t-be-too-vulnerable thing.

There are so many ways I want to change for the better. Sometimes it’s overwhelming! But it’s also very, very excited. To know that I want to change and that there is hope for me.

Not much. It snowed and we didn’t even go play in it! I feel kind of bad about that, but I figure it’s not the last snow Rosemary will ever see in her life. We just kind of spent the week in recovery mode. Joel and Rosemary were still feeling a bit under the weather. Friday night we braved the mall. Joel and I each got a new outfit. I really needed something, I feel like such a slob everywhere I go.

Saturday I was going to head to the mall to get a little Christmas shopping done, to get myself a new pair of shoes (I’m still wearing shoes that I outgrew while pregnant with Rosemary!), and to get Rosemary a slip to wear underneath her Christmas dress. We were in the middle of quite the snowstorm, so I figured the malls wouldn’t be too busy. I went out, started the car, started brushing the snow off my car, turned my car off, and went back inside. It was too cold and windy out and I didn’t want to have to brush the snow off again when I left for the mall! So I sat next to Joel on the couch and read a book next to the fire. We also started watching White Christmas, which is a tradition for us.

Sunday we went to church, but left early. Rosemary was a little lot cranky and we had some errands to run, so we made an executive decision to leave. We went to the mall where we found a slip for Rosemary and I got to get 2 pairs of shoes because of a sale. Woohoo! Rosemary took a 3.5 hour nap and Joel took it easy as well. I went to the grocery store and then went home and cleaned up a little. I got to do some reading, took Owen for a walk, and then took Rosemary with me to cell group. Joel stayed home because he wasn’t feeling well.

I know this probably sounds boring to you, but I love these kinds of weekends. Oh yeah, and I got some Christmas decorations up as well. We are hopefully going to go cut down a tree sometime this week, either Wednesday or Saturday.

*Rosemary has an icky, yucky cold. So sick of being sick. All of us. And Rosemary did NOT sleep well last night.

*Joel went to the minute clinic yesterday. His eye was inflamed to the size of a golfball. He has peri-orbital cellulitus. It’s okay to make fun of him for it. You may also make fun of him for puking all over my brother’s screen door.

*I finally signed up for my company’s 401k!!!! Woohoo. Although it’s really a shame I didn’t do that 4 years ago ...

*We spent $170 freaking dollars for a gate for our fireplace. Joel’s not thrilled about this as a solution. But I say he should have voiced that opinion before we spent all that money on this particular gate. Am I right or am I right?

*Rosemary has lost a lot of weight. Her petite toddler fuzzi bunz are loose on her! That’s not good?

*I struggle with the fact that she’s been sick for 2+ weeks (1st a cold, then the flu, now a cold again) and I haven’t taken her to a doctor. I would rather not take her to a doctor (she’ll freak out the whole entire time and just be exposed to more germs), but I just have this bit of mom-worry of what if it’s something worse?

*I hate mom-worry. Sometimes these ridiculously horrific scenarios pop into my head and I play them out over in over despite attempts to stop. I want to never do that. Mostly I think it’s just normal and sometimes I think there is something very wrong with me and I need help.

*It’s the worst feeling in the world to see your own flesh and blood be sick. This week I have held Rosemary through puking, dry heaves, miserable coughing, and lots of crying, “ALL DONE!” and I don’t want it to be this way.

*This was not where this post was meant to go. I was just going to say that I finally signed up for a 401k and Joel looks funny.

*I am feeling 100% today. Yay!

Apparently Joel had the day off today (Veteran’s Day). He didn’t know it, so we arranged for my mom to watch Rosemary and he went into work ... but couldn’t get in. He felt so bad because the last time we arranged for my mom to babysit, Joel came home early and she wasn’t needed. In case you didn’t know, grandmas often like to babysit their grand-kids. So Joel drove over to his parents house for a visit, finished up a job application, dropped it off, stopped by my work, and we went out for lunch. Just the two of us. It was almost like a date! Then he went home, so my mom had a shorter day than she expected, but all was good!

Joel went up to my dad's cabin last night so that he could start deer hunting bright and early. It would be awesome if he got a deer today so he could just be done with the whole thing. I'm not really sure if/when he'll get another chance to go this season?

I've been enjoying mommy/daughter day. Rosemary still has a cold, and she didn't sleep incredibly last night ... but she didn't protest when I brought her into bed (which is rare), instead she curled up and fell right to sleep. She slept until 5:45 and then she was awake, but wanted to snuggle so we watched some cartoons. Curious George and Word World. Curious George is a little crazy, I have a hard time suspending disbelief for the show. I can hardly believe the man in the yellow hat allows George to do all he does. He's just a little monkey with way too much responsibility. I mean, sending a monkey to pick up his tailored pants?!?

Later we ran up to Babies R Us to exchange some tights and then stopped in the mall to see if I could find any hair clips for Rosemary. I'm looking for those plastic ones that used to come by the hundreds when I was a kid. Anyone know where I might find them? They usually have little shapes on them and they firmly click closed. The last time I saw a kid wearing them, I chickened out on running across the store to ask her mom where she got them. Next time I'm going to run across the store.

I had a lot of fun shopping with Rosemary. Everything was slower, but she kept good company. It's pretty rare that it's just Rosemary and me. Not that I don't miss Joel and all, but I really enjoyed our time this morning.

Now she's asleep and I've already wasted an hour of her nap. I need to get to work, the house is a mess.

My friend kikifitz put a poll up on her website and asked if we would be willing to put a link to it on our own LJ pages. I'm curious to see some of your answers, so thought I would give you guys the link. Go and take it, it's called, Is your husband stuck in the 50's?

I had a hard time answering some of the questions, and probably skewed things a little bit because I work full time and Joel works part time. I also thought the answers were geared, just a little bit, toward assuming that our husbands are stuck in the 50's. Joel does a ton around the house and does almost all of the cooking. I would love to learn to be a better cook, but for me that is something that takes time and he has been cooking his whole life. He's a natural, and can quickly cook something up whereas I need time to plan and prepare.

He also does a lot of stuff around the house that I consider to be "his" job. He'll fix a leaky sink, he mows the lawn, he fixed the loose shingle on our roof over the weekend, etc. etc. The quiz didn't really account for that.

Regardless, I thought the quiz was interesting. And I decided that, yes, my husband is a 21st century guy. He doesn't necessarily look at a mess the way I look at a mess. And sometimes I'll ask him to clean off the dining room table only to find that he's moved a bowl from the table to the counter and is now reading the newspaper. But, all in all, he does a lot around the house and I am very thankful to have a guy like him.

Today is Joel's first day at his new internship. He had a crazy dream last night about being a substitute 3rd baseman for the Twins. He didn't feel like he was qualified for it, but everyone kept saying he was. New job jitters, anyone? He has been incredibly excited about all of this and really is hardly nervous. But it's been almost 5 years since he has started a new job and this morning he said, "Katie, I'm going to have to relearn where the good pooping bathrooms are."

Today is Joel's last day working at the capitol and, much to my surprise, I feel kind of sad about it. He has worked there almost 5 years and it has to be hard to say goodbye to all the coworkers that he has become friends with over the years. Joel has expressed little remorse, in fact he has said over and over again that it felt so good to finally write a letter of resignation - it is time to move on. But I know he is really going to miss the people and the building, and a part of him wishes that he could have found another job within the capitol. I'm also a little sad that Rosemary won't remember the days when her dad worked in such a beautiful building, that there won't be days when I can turn on the tv to see the legislature hard at work and, on occasion, Joel roaming around the floor. I'm so excited for Joel and I feel an anticipation. I feel excited for what's ahead, but a little sad that it means Joel has to leave this behind. (I won't be sad during the next legislative session, however, when they're all working 24-hour days and Joel is home with me.) Who knows, maybe someday he'll be back there?

I'm going to do this for Joel, too.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

Mush, mush, mush. Is it time to go home yet? I think sometimes short weeks are more difficult than full weeks. I had Monday off and I feel like I've been working for years without a break.

Joel's interview went really well. We'll hear more next week.

So last night Joel and I decided to switch off, I would sleep downstairs for the first 1/2 of the night and he would sleep downstairs for the second 1/2. At 8pm (Rosemary's normal bedtime), I gave her a bottle and she fell soundly asleep. But while I was giving her a bottle, I started thinking I should let her sleep on a pillow (she's old enough for that, right?) since her nose is kind of plugged up. BAD IDEA.

She did NOT like the pillow, and it woke her up, and we couldn't get her back to sleep until 10.

We have decided that for the time being, until we are a little better rested and less stressed out, we are not going to fight with her. We're just going to try to be as peaceful and relaxed as possible. So we didn't do any of the let her cry in her crib for 5-10 minutes to get her tired enough to be settled. In fact, we turned on lights when she was fighting with us (does/doesn't want to be held).

Anyway, my point being that Joel cuddled with her and watched a little Baby Signing Time until she fell asleep. But as soon as he laid her down, she began wailing. This is when the light bulb went off in my head that we should rub orajel on her gums, so I went upstairs around 9:30 and we gave her orajel. She freaked when I tried to go back downstairs, so I decided to take her since I was awake anyway. I figured I'd get Joel if I got too exhausted, or maybe we'd switch off and I'd have first 1/2 of the night duty. Anyway, she was sound asleep and happy in her crib by 10.

Joel was sound asleep in our bed, and I went downstairs to sleep.

At 2am on the NOSE, Joel came to switch places with me. "Has she been fussy?" I asked. "Not really, just needing me to untangle her from her blanket a little bit." So why the frack are you down here?? That's not exactly what I said, but.

1. Don't you think he should have given me an extra 1/2 hour since I got her to bed?
2. Don't you think that if the night is going perfectly, there is no need to wake up and do the shuffle?

I say this all in love, I hope you know. We didn't have an argument or anything. He just didn't read my mind and do things the right way.j

Nothing huge, but Joel made some phone calls yesterday ... and one job with Great River Energy and the other job with the City of Arden Hills. He applied for the Great River Energy job so long ago that I forgot it, but it turns out that they have only just began reviewing the applications. I think that job would be so cool. And the Arden Hills job, which I was allowing a lot of doubt to creep in about, turns out they are truly, honestly still going through their resumes. So, there’s hope. Hope, hope, hope.

Now that Joel is a board member for the our district's Planning Council, he gets to go to lots of meetings. The hot issue lately has been the dog park, and since Joel is familiar with the dog park, he volunteered to be on a sub-committee for it. It's so funny how people get can take things so personally. Instead of trying to look at a solution rationally, a lady threatened to sue him personally if she happens to get raped because the back gate is locked and she can't get out. 1.) Crime at the dog park has not been an issue 2.) If you can get out the gate, so can somebody who is trying to attack you.